Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Wish you all a very merry Christmas and a blasted Happy New Year.
I'm leaving for China to visit relatives and spend some relaxing time to clear my head for the new year.
I won't have access to WWW often but if I happen to surf the NET I will definitely bring you to date as to my latest status and next destination.
My wife told me to be more adventurous when I'm out alone.
I told her baby don't worry I will fun but not to the point to give my Joystick away, LOL.

Relatives

I'm very much not used to having a huge family gathering here in the states.  Of course compare to some people I know in New York, I might seem to have a more extended family but compare to my Italian and Irish friends then forget about it, I seem less family oriented.

Cousin SHX zoning out over hot water and Whiskey.  Cousin Ian just dropped in from Toronto.  We met up a the White Slab in the lower east side of Manhattan.

I only met him once before today.  3 years ago we probed his Beijing penthouse secret hide out and only caught a glimpse of him with his long hair and huge headset who was surfed out looking like a Cali white boy but quickly emerges from deep in his voice cord is that Beijing slang he uses hustling among the HuTongs.  Here he is munching on the good food.

In her garden apartment house in deep China town.  When shared a few Whiskeys and smoked camel lights in his garden backyard but now filled with knee high snow.  We were down to the basics without microwave but quickly heat up instant Pizza.  Ian shared milk tea with our older sister Sara.  She is very close to him and I'm trying to get to know them but there is a long way to go.  But one thing is clear, SHX is definitely one of the Yangs with her ability to a make a home cozy and a hedonist and fashion expert.

This moment is so special to me.  I'm so glad I dragged myself out of my den from an otherwise perfect day to be lazy amidst all the snow and slushy drama.  We shared conversations and I almost didn't know how to react to these strangers but somethings made our conversation connect, I feel there is a certain attraction, I don't really know you yet but I can smell the family out of you.  

Why did you want to first eat Dunkin Donuts for Dinner like a cop then decide to eat Mcdonald when we could have Taiwanese pork chop, Pho, or San Bao Fan, but you want to at what?  The southern friend chicken hit the spot though.

Blizzard of 2009

3AM in a blizzardry Sunday morning I haven't slept yet because I am excited to participate in this dramatic storm of the end of 2009.  My backyard is starting to look like Siberia.  Although I have easy access to my car which parked right in the front but how am I going to get out is a big problem.  Tomorrow, Subway and walking are in, and definitely have to keep it fashionable.  

Around 230AM in the morning.  I haven't slept and decided to open the mesh of the left window just besides me and barrier with the black curtain.  As I watched TV I turned left and I looked out, mother nature is doing her work.  Incredible.

Insomnia

I couldn’t sleep all night.  I think it was the KTV and the BAR I visited got me all fired up. 

My friend from Seagate opened a KTV and Bar in Flushing.  I know that kind environment is not for me but I tried to fit in and just to have fun.  I had like 2 Johnny black and 3 beers.  Surprisingly I was so uptight I couldn’t feel any alcohol.  There were beautiful hostesses there to play with but I had no interest.  I felt very restricted.  I know I don’t belong there but I wanted to open myself up and step out the comfort zone.  I left a bit early and all I can think about is the extra spending from this week and how I need to get back on my routine ASAP to cook instead of buying lunch.  I was at a war with myself all night.  One year after I lived in my bachelor pad I’m beginning to feel some major emotional changes.  I feel like a volcano is erupting inside.  I kept reminding myself that I’m no longer a boy and I need carry out things on my own and my wife can not always be there to help me make decisions.  All of a sudden my path seemed so dim.  I view myself differently.  I actually for the first time found myself with esteem issues.  I admit to myself how much I value a good work and equally good rewarding money.  All night I tumbled back and forth.  The thought of don’t think so much and just do it repeatedly slapped myself like cold ice water and wake myself up from nightmares.  I left the house 645am and faced the brutal skin cracking cold wind. 

The sunshine was really beautiful this morning.  The frontal system moved East while the sun breaks apart the lingering clouds as if the living room blinds were pulled up for the welcoming sunshine.

Happy Holidays

Peter Zhao

Ocean Import Department

Fedex Trade Networks

1 Cross Island Plaza Suite 307 & 308

Rosedale, NY 11422

Email: Peter_Zhao@ftn.fedex.com

Tel 718-481-8888 ext 4114

Fax 718-481-8883

Fax 718-481-8883

The Purple Promise-
"I will make every FedEx experience outstanding."

what do I really want

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The more I drink the more I think.
It's too damn quiet in the room, let me put on some music.
Ah, much nicer.
My stomach is empty, the smell of kimchi noodles thrill me like a prisoner who hasn't seen a women for 15 years.
I don't know what right or wrong.
Seriously for the last 10 years living out with my love.  Now we are separated for reasons until now I still can not understand.  I choose not to understand and divert my attentions to career.  But the more I complain the more I want to explain just what do I really want, what do I really need, what do I know about who I am, and What do I really know exactly what is true and a lie.
Now I got an interview tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I will get it.  But how will I react to it, come Pete it's not a life or death decision, its just job, be a man, don't think, don't act like I got 2 kids and wife because I don't just do it.  Please!!!

Today's Facebook Quotes

Too lazy to cook and too busy to think, cure??? Sipping JWB straight, indulging Godiva Truffles, stretch back relax and smell the basil chicken and fresh tomatoes in my head then transcend from the mind to a pair of working hands.

Learned nothing good from corporate America except handling more stress and be a good diplomat but the bad things are plenty like selfish, back stab, rat, snake, improper usage of HR, envy, sloth, gluttony, jealousy, hatred, spite, putting people on mute and laugh at them, talking on the speaker like I'm mr. Big, and so thick skinned just call me Tin Tin.


Is my brain different from other or am I just mentally retarded??? What do they mean by, "slow down", "take it one thing at a time", "take it easy", "don't think so much", I don't F-ing get it, what is so difficult? Make matter worth, I'm told to call the PEOPLE HELP hotline!!! Hello??? Haven't I complained enough already. THANK YOU FACEBOOK.

birthday card for nobody

Today we had our first snow, although it was wet snow mixed with rain, but the 35 degrees temperature and the 25 degrees wind chills sent smiles to my face and tears streamed down my cheeks because I haven't felt this cold since last winter.  Winter is here again, I sighed with a big smile and mumbled to myself while admiring my shadow casted on the brick wall.  The streetlights were beautiful, casting warm shadows one after another as I walked in the wet snowy rain.  I felt so hollywood like.

This little card I purchased from Barnes and Noble is for my own collection.  One day it might ended up in someone's trash or admired while dusted on someone's office desk months after my birthday wishes.  But for now, I bought this not only because it's a Unicef card for the kids but mainly it's a cute little card.  I chose this one over another clever pink card with a little pink elephant chewing a surreal carrot.

I sat on barnes and noble's floor for hours downing a large cup of dark coffee while digesting a stack of photography books.  Afterwards I walked through the holiday section hoping to find some innovative gift ideas for my visit to China end of the months.  I saw this card and immediately I felt my cheeks blush and my ear lobes heat up.  My heart beat faster and I reached out my shaky hands to grasp this cute little card.  I love how the important pieces protrude out of the background for the 3D feel.  The design is simple, crisp, and just too lovely to be abandoned on this shelf I thought I had to buy this.  It must be the stress I have these days.  Oh the terrible times I endured this year.  My eyes were teary as I held onto this card and zoned out.  I wish I'm inside this painting and sip my tea while enjoying the colors around me.

I have been beaten up by this world.  I fell down too many times.  I dusted myself and patched the bruises.  Everyday is a rebirth for me.  Tonight I felt like a new man.  Happy birthday Peter, Happy birthday to myself.