Sunday, November 14, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
the darkest hour in the brightest moment
I am excelling in the industry I've worked for a decade and this new company really stretches my potential to the fullest. Now the day job is getting me to places my side job photography is also making progression. I should say that I am now entering my golden hours of life my mother conceived 30 years ago. I am making the dream dollars but I have to say I feel very happy. However amidst the often perceived hyperactive joyful being I am superficially lies a saddened image not many have seen. I thought, as a photographer, I should not only capture the emotions of others but focus and document myself as I struggle through the emotions and pains which help me to grow stronger. Autumn is a sad month for poets. The leaves are changing color and soon to fall and the death like winter once again blanket the city but call itself the winter wonderland. Living in the darkest hour but the moment is bright, I will be alright, but for now, I'm gathering the momentum that boils inside of me and use it to create.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Relinquish
brand new pillow cases and bed sheet. Although everything else stay the same, these changes mean so much to me. I am in great pain!!!
But I learned to face the pain. this season is so painful to me. October, thinking about last October I had so much hope. 2 month later, another surprise.
I'm too strong to not relinquish the mind and cleanse my soul. Amidst the shadowy past that stalk my sleep away, I find a warm smile in the mirror I face, I am strong!
But I learned to face the pain. this season is so painful to me. October, thinking about last October I had so much hope. 2 month later, another surprise.
I'm too strong to not relinquish the mind and cleanse my soul. Amidst the shadowy past that stalk my sleep away, I find a warm smile in the mirror I face, I am strong!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
9/11 Remembered
Moment of silence, shed tears for those we knew, might not know, but touched all of our hearts
Sunday, August 22, 2010
photos and time
*** This photo was shot using my 1st Digital SLR camera the Nikon D50 nearly 4 years ago. I liked tricks back then and this was experimented by long exposure plus camera movements. I carved the flower from a light source by drawing the DSLR I was holding against a white wall. In 4 years, many changes took place and I like to talk about why I feel so inspired tonight.
On my way to drop off few rolls of film off Broadway in NOHO I aimed for Houston St to exit myself from SOHO. I saw sheer numbers of ambulances and firetrucks. A circle formed in the middle of the sidewalk. I can imagine there must be people break dance, no, all jokes aside, someone must be hurt. As expected or maybe a bit more intense, I find a man lying in a pool of blood. There were bloody tissues on the floor. About a dozen EMS workers were quickly yet somewhat nonchalantly pacing themselves to give the helping effort to a dying man. He was in a spasm, trying to grab hold of his rather calm girl friend or wife yet the EMS workers quickly push his hands in and secure them. No one in the crowd appear to be shooting photos or digitally video recording. I guess everyone has the same thought, should I a photo at a moment like this. As I walked by, I felt very intense. My heart was pumping and I asked myself the same question whether I should take a photo and perhaps gain a few remarks from someone unpleasant on the street or just forget it and walk away. 25 steps away from the scene I suddenly turned back and wind an empty film into the shooting slot. I will take a series of pictures using my film camera, the Nikon FM2. I thought from a photo journalism approach I should document this exclusive memory. I shouldn't have a hint of distrust in my own doings and I thought by doubting my own purpose is the biggest disrespect to myself. My lenses appeared in the crowd and someone them saw my lens coming quickly ducked to let me shoot. Perhaps my attitude emit professionalism and sent a clear message to the onlookers the meaning of my business. I don't think I can forget the ethics, moral, and the basic a value of a human being to not save someone's life but rather save the moment worth capturing. If the EMS workers weren't there, I will definitely lend a hand. Sadly to bring up facts about some people in this city who will not help until someone else takes a lead. Living in a large city like New York, hack, I think living in this world in general can often expose oneself to elements of dishonesty, schemes, and scams. Sometimes to simply lend a hand can become a game of guessing whether you could end up a victim of blackmail. What happened to the pureness, what happened to compassion or simply our own humanly passion.
"Today, I am very honored to participate the opening of time capsule my friend buried in his garage and last seen daylights in 5 years. old photos, dusted vhs, those old memories ritually recorded on devices themselves are already a relics of our time. the dazed days we chilled seemingly wasteful yet these events pave our way to conquer the fear of the future. time traveling is at talks, we are heading to a new era."
Thinking back the 11 years since I moved out of my mother's house and lived with the opposite of myself for so long. It's been 2 years since our big split. She's in a totally new life right now learning to start from scratch. I'm faced with changes and still constantly challenging myself by tossing myself out of one comfort zone from another. In my friend's photos I found him in many different hairstyles, from innocent to bad boy, from an artist to aspiring promoter. I saw the comedy "Dinner with Schmucks" last night. Steve Carrel masterfully made the film extremely funny. Yet these comedies often carry a good positive moral. They were talking about dreamers and I can related the movie directly to the photos from my friend's photo capsule. We phase through my stages just like the VHS era passing the baton to the DVD, the Blueray, and how Steve Hawkins now confirms the possibilities of entering the time travel era.
I think we will be more problematic if we found ourself unchanged in a decade. Change is good just like how these photos from a time capsule everyone must all have somewhere in their house, in one of their dusted old photo albums, when we open them we hear the past speaking to us and may just add a few spices and sparkle new shines to our futures ahead.
On my way to drop off few rolls of film off Broadway in NOHO I aimed for Houston St to exit myself from SOHO. I saw sheer numbers of ambulances and firetrucks. A circle formed in the middle of the sidewalk. I can imagine there must be people break dance, no, all jokes aside, someone must be hurt. As expected or maybe a bit more intense, I find a man lying in a pool of blood. There were bloody tissues on the floor. About a dozen EMS workers were quickly yet somewhat nonchalantly pacing themselves to give the helping effort to a dying man. He was in a spasm, trying to grab hold of his rather calm girl friend or wife yet the EMS workers quickly push his hands in and secure them. No one in the crowd appear to be shooting photos or digitally video recording. I guess everyone has the same thought, should I a photo at a moment like this. As I walked by, I felt very intense. My heart was pumping and I asked myself the same question whether I should take a photo and perhaps gain a few remarks from someone unpleasant on the street or just forget it and walk away. 25 steps away from the scene I suddenly turned back and wind an empty film into the shooting slot. I will take a series of pictures using my film camera, the Nikon FM2. I thought from a photo journalism approach I should document this exclusive memory. I shouldn't have a hint of distrust in my own doings and I thought by doubting my own purpose is the biggest disrespect to myself. My lenses appeared in the crowd and someone them saw my lens coming quickly ducked to let me shoot. Perhaps my attitude emit professionalism and sent a clear message to the onlookers the meaning of my business. I don't think I can forget the ethics, moral, and the basic a value of a human being to not save someone's life but rather save the moment worth capturing. If the EMS workers weren't there, I will definitely lend a hand. Sadly to bring up facts about some people in this city who will not help until someone else takes a lead. Living in a large city like New York, hack, I think living in this world in general can often expose oneself to elements of dishonesty, schemes, and scams. Sometimes to simply lend a hand can become a game of guessing whether you could end up a victim of blackmail. What happened to the pureness, what happened to compassion or simply our own humanly passion.
"Today, I am very honored to participate the opening of time capsule my friend buried in his garage and last seen daylights in 5 years. old photos, dusted vhs, those old memories ritually recorded on devices themselves are already a relics of our time. the dazed days we chilled seemingly wasteful yet these events pave our way to conquer the fear of the future. time traveling is at talks, we are heading to a new era."
Thinking back the 11 years since I moved out of my mother's house and lived with the opposite of myself for so long. It's been 2 years since our big split. She's in a totally new life right now learning to start from scratch. I'm faced with changes and still constantly challenging myself by tossing myself out of one comfort zone from another. In my friend's photos I found him in many different hairstyles, from innocent to bad boy, from an artist to aspiring promoter. I saw the comedy "Dinner with Schmucks" last night. Steve Carrel masterfully made the film extremely funny. Yet these comedies often carry a good positive moral. They were talking about dreamers and I can related the movie directly to the photos from my friend's photo capsule. We phase through my stages just like the VHS era passing the baton to the DVD, the Blueray, and how Steve Hawkins now confirms the possibilities of entering the time travel era.
I think we will be more problematic if we found ourself unchanged in a decade. Change is good just like how these photos from a time capsule everyone must all have somewhere in their house, in one of their dusted old photo albums, when we open them we hear the past speaking to us and may just add a few spices and sparkle new shines to our futures ahead.
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